Friday, May 27, 2016

Having my daughter PART 1

I have put this in to two parts because it is really long. But I want to share with others my experience not only for me to heal but to help anyone else who has experienced something similar. Overall this blog will be about my health and wellness journey presently, but I want to share where it began.


   I have had a really hard time losing weight and just feeling well overall, since I had my daughter in June 2015. My pregnancy was fairly easy in the first two trimesters although I was gaining weight rapidly. I didn't feel like I was eating more than normal, but I must have been. I was gaining an unhealthy amount of weight. Looking back though, my doctor never ever mentioned that I should watch my weight even though I had gained an unhealthy amount. 60 pounds total. I was NOT overweight when I became pregnant, but after the 60 pounds you can bet I was. Being only 5'1 doesn't really help when it comes to your weight either.

The third trimester is when things started getting harder. My daughter was VERY active in my tummy a lot. Especially at night time. It was starting to get extremely uncomfortable because her feet were always up in my ribs. Constantly, I was having rib pain. I wasn't sure if it was contractions or her or what. I didn't know what a contraction was at all or what to expect. But I knew that more often than not my ribs felt like they were being CRUSHED. My belly was huge, not from the weight really, because I had gained the weight EVERYWHERE in my body. The baby weight in my tummy though became extremely uncomfortable moving around. Sitting down hurt the most because my ribs were more crushed during that time. It also became uncomfortable to eat. I was feeling full after barely eating and then experiencing uncomfortable indigestion, bloating, and cramping hours after eating. Needless to say, I was miserable.

This was at 31 weeks 4 days. I guess I never took a bump pic after this :(

I kept working though. I never really seemed to have that hard of a time while I was working, and thankfully I have amazing coworkers who helped me with tasks I couldn't handle.

At 33 weeks though I started having uncomfortable cramping all night and all morning. I decided a trip to the hospital was a good idea as I thought I was having contractions. Turns out, I was having contractions 5 minutes apart that they stopped. I was only 1cm dilated though and around 60% effaced I believe. They gave me the shots to stop my contractions which worked. Then they gave me a steroid shot to help develop my daughter's lungs in-case she did end up coming early. I had to go back the next day to get the next steroid shot. She didn't come though, her head was already at the tip of the birthing canal. My doctor made me stop working though because they wanted the baby to stay in till at least 37 weeks. About a week later I started having the same contraction feeling and whenever this happened my daughter would keep kicking my ribs at the same time. I went back to the hospital, stopped contractions again only 1 cm. still they kept monitoring me and they were 5 minutes apart again and very strong. My blood pressure around this time had started going up as well. I have always had VERY low blood pressure. Like 109/60 low. So they started monitoring my blood pressure as well which seemed to go down on it's own. So I was stuck feeling miserable all the time with my braxton hicks contractions and my daughter kicking my ribs crushing them like she wasn't fitting. Then they made me collect my urine for 24 hours straight in a jug that i had to lug around to three different labs, because I was given the wrong information of where to bring this huge jug of pee I had on ice. LOL sorry about the details but it's too funny not to talk about.

I forgot to mention while pregnant I was also prescribed zoloft for depression. I believe I was almost in my third triimester or already was when my doctor prescribed it. It made me feel extremely tired which I hated. In the beginning it made my stomach sick, but I stuck to it and took it the rest of my pregnancy and a few months after. I can't really tell you if it worked or not. Or if I really needed it. My doctor and I decided I did though at the time.

I went to the hospital at least 3 or 4 times more after that with nothing ever happening besides the contractions. My doctor started talking about inducing the baby at 39 weeks, because of all the discomfort I was in. I agreed that would be a good idea. It also turns out my due date was going to be at the same time he would be on vacation. I was crying to my doctor about how uncomfortable I was all the time and he wanted to help me. He decided to do a membrane sweep at my 38 week appointment and would do it again 4 days after if it didn't kick start labor. The membrane sweep caused me to be in the worst pain ever. I thought I was going in to labor, and maybe I would have if I had went on a walk or something but I was in SO much pain all I wanted to do was laydown and thats what I did. Nothing ended up happening from that either.

Two days later I felt like I was starting to leak amniotic fluid. I went to the hospital they did a swab and told me nope it wasn't but to be prepared because the baby could come at any time. This was the billionth time I had been to the hospital for nothing happening. I was huge and pregnant and uncomfortable, and bored because I hadn't been working for over a month. That day I went out to breakfast with Kevin (my boyfriend)'s mom and then we went to the mall with his dad as well. We walked around the mall for awhile. Then went shopping and I got my breastfeeding clothes I would be needing. I went back home and hungout with Kevin. That night he went to make us snow cones and I got up to go pee and as I am walking towards the bathroom water just starts POURING out of me it seems nonstop. I'm confused at first and yell "I think my water just broke!!" I realized it had once it never stopped coming. I changed pants, and brought an old blanket to cover me and we rushed to the hospital. At the hospital I literally leaked all over the floor and left a trail behind me the staff had to mop. SORRY GUYS! lol. It's around 11 at night when we get there. I don't have any contractions I feel normal besides having my water continuously flowing out. I take a bath in a really nice jacuzzi bath they had and that is when my contractions hit!

I decided in the beginning I would be doing this all natural. I thought I had a good tolerance for pain as well. So even with the nurse pestering me to get the epidural I declined. So I layed there in pain for a few hours. Eventually it got to a point where I thought I would die I was in so much pain. So I decided to do the epidural. At this point I wish I had done it in the beginning because it was way too hard to sit still in that much pain. It took them forever to do it. And right away she had to re-do it. And then when it was all set up it didn't work forever! Then it only worked on one side of my body. And it was like that forever. Finally, it kicked in completely. After I learned I could keep pushing that button next to you without overdosing, I was so afraid that I would overdose if I kept hitting the button I just ignored it. lol.

So I was comfortable and good for hours after that. However when I was admitted I was still at a 1 or 1.5 I believe, that was at 11pm. I finally got 10cm dilated I think around 3pm the next day. That is when I began pushing. My initial thoughts were that pushing wasn't that bad. It wasn't painful I could feel a little pressure but nothing bad at all. This went on forever though and the baby had stopped making progress. You could literally see her hair she was so close though! Some other nurse came in and said the doctor said we needed to lower my epidural and give me pitocin because my contractions were slowing down. That is when the pain really kicked in. I wish looking back I had asked them if they could turn the epidural all the way up again or something, but I wasn't thinking straight. I was in the worst pain imaginable in this one spot mainly. They told me she was positioned weird and tried to do exercises to move her head that didn't work. I honestly can't remember everything but after 2 in a half hours of pushing I felt like I couldn't go on. I started throwing up. I'm not sure what sparked them to do this but they decided at that point to do an emergency c-section. Maybe it was cause I started throwing up and nothing was happening. At this point it's around 6 o clock. 19 hours after I had gotten there. They take me to the c-section room. Give me another epidural and start cutting in to me. I screamed. I felt everything. I felt the baby moving around weirdly I felt the doctors hands I felt being cut open and I screamed. They told me I couldn't scream I had to stop. I stopped they started again and I screamed again. I couldn't control it. That is when they ended up putting me to sleep.

The next thing I remember is waking up a little confused. A nurse comes in and tells me everything was ok the baby is ok. and my first response was "is she still a girl?!" lol. They bring her to me and I finally got to hold her and she attached right way to the breast!




The next few days are kind of torture. I couldn't walk by myself. I had to have someone help me to the bathroom everytime I went. Kevin had to help me a lot. I couldn't change my clothes, my underwear, nothing. Kevin or the nurse had to help me. I was in so much pain in one spot in my lower stomach that was preventing me from walking or doing anything! They kept bothering me to walk but I just couldn't. They had a physical therapist come see me and have me walk around the hospital with a walker so I could walk before being discharged. I was able to but extremely tired after I was. I couldn't get up when the baby was crying I had to somehow wake Kevin up by throwing something at him or have the nurse bring her to me so I could feed her. They ended up letting me go even though I still couldn't walk, and hadn't had a bowel movement. They sent me home with the walker.

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